SheKnowsNow

It happens that plans don't always work out in life. Everything is subject to change, and although it may appear improbable that things will improve, remember that there are people who are experiencing similar circumstances, and try not to become pessimistic. Since we are all human, I hope that by telling my stories, I will uplift you and bring some wisdom, humor, and light into your life.

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I’ve lived a colorful, globe-trotting life — from the vibrant landscapes of Kenya to the fast pace of the U.S., the dynamic culture of Korea, and the laid-back charm of Australia. Along the way, I’ve worn many hats: from customer service, personal training and consulting to interpreting and beyond. Each job taught me something valuable, shaping my understanding of people, communication, and connection. But no matter where I’ve been or what I’ve done, one thing has stayed constant: my desire to do work that truly matters — something that brings healing, support, and real value to others. After years of exploring different paths, I’ve come full circle to what feels most aligned with who I am: helping people in a meaningful, heartfelt way. Whether it’s through language, empathy, or simply being a bridge for others during important moments in their lives, I’m here to create impact with authenticity and purpose.

Lessons Learned the Hard Way: Red Flags in Men

Ever look back and realize the signs were there all along? Yeah… these were mine

Peace isn’t found in someone else—it’s built when you stop tolerating what hurts

If he never wants to define the relationship, chances are you’re just a placeholder while he waits for something or someone else.

If he says he doesn’t believe in therapy but wants to “work things out privately,” that usually means you’re doing all the emotional labor—and he’s avoiding the real work.

If he becomes dismissive, short, or defensive instead of being honest, that’s a sign he’s emotionally investing elsewhere. You’ll feel a quiet shift in your connection. If that happens, beware of trying harder, over-apologizing, or over-giving—because that will only make you question your worth instead of his behavior.

If a man is physically or emotionally involved with someone else, the affection he shows you will start to change. If he acts loving in public but the tenderness disappears when you’re alone, that’s a red flag. Real love doesn’t need an audience.

If his phone, which used to be face-up, suddenly stays face-down; if he’s always “busy” or working late; if he withdraws emotionally—these are signs he might be hiding something. A man who has nothing to hide won’t build digital walls.

If you ask questions and he calls you paranoid or nosy, he’s shifting blame to avoid accountability.

If you want to believe he’s just going through something personal or needs space, be careful—because space without clarity is often a stalling tactic.

If he’s stalling, you’re the one waiting.

If he takes no responsibility for how his actions affect you and instead blames you, that’s a major red flag.

If you express hurt, he calls you dramatic.

If you ask for reassurance, he accuses you of being needy.

If you ever question your sanity or instincts, trust them. They’re trying to tell you the truth.

If you’ve been nodding along… you already know. And if it hurt to read, it probably hurt even more to live through. You’re not alone—and you didn’t imagine it. 🙂

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Writer—Chaos Architect

Mary Kang

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Location: Seoul, South Korea

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